My Mazamet

Life at β„– 42 by E.M. Coutinho

One can tell by my eyes that I’ve probably been crying forever

Firstly, thank you all so much for the kind comments. I just didn’t have it in me to respond.

I went to the vegetable shop yesterday and despite my efforts to hide my swollen eyes with big sunglasses the attendant asked me if I was alright- which I guess means I look as if I’m not.

Rudy’s first day with us, being inspected by Tara & Morgan (Sotogrande, Spain – 2012) They took to each other instantly.

Each day is a little bit easier than the day before, but I won’t lie, none of it is easy. Rudy was the Bart Simpson of dogs which meant that for much of the day I was supervising nearby, making sure he didn’t get up to anything too dangerous. Like when he’d hide perfectly still in bushes waiting for unsuspecting birds – and then there were feathers everywhere.

Thanks to the wonders of the internet I found this video which I uploaded many years ago and completely forgot about until this week. It was taken on a cloudy day in the summer of 2012 as he discovered the joys of the Kong toy.

It captures his personality perfectly. A playful little thug with an enormous heart. His life started off with great difficulties. He was thrown over a shelter wall with a badly broken femur and was going to be put down when a most spectacular woman by the name Inge Virnich stepped in and saved him. She paid for everything to fix him up and then invited us to meet him once he was well. He threw himself at us a bit like a kamikaze pilot; a habit he never lost. And that was it.

He spent the day pitter pattering around as if about to break into a flamenco solo. He was intense. Intensely demanding, intensely affectionate, intensely naughty. Intensely hungry for food and life.

First week, he thought this was a perfectly reasonable spot to sit.

These two were by Summer Girls (obviously!)

That’s it from me for a bit. If I don’t answer your comments for a while, please forgive me. This was so out of the blue, I just wasn’t emotionally prepared for it and I’m having enough trouble keeping it together so the others don’t get stressed.

Every day at happy hour he’d stare at the nuts and olives just waiting for me to make one little mistake so he could pounce.

21 comments on “One can tell by my eyes that I’ve probably been crying forever

  1. Scottie
    April 3, 2020

    Hello Pink. I grieve with you on your loss and I am glad you have the many joyous memories. You gave your friend a grand life. Warm hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. foolsmusings
    April 3, 2020

    I’m so sorry you’re going through so much. You deserve a break from this shit. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  3. inspiredbythedivine1
    April 3, 2020

    What a lovely little rascal he seemed to be. Wonderful. So very sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Diana MacPherson
    April 3, 2020

    Such pain at losing a perfect little soul that a dog is. I’m so sorry your heart is broken.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Pink Agendist
      April 16, 2020

      There’s a terrible feeling of personal failure, even though I intellectually know it isn’t.


  5. Helen Devries
    April 3, 2020

    What a gorgeous little fiend…and friend. It will take a long time to come to terms with such a sudden loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Osyth
    April 3, 2020

    I have nothing to say to make it better, nothing that will ease the pain. But I do thank you for sharing Rudy even through the intense grief you feel. He was wonderful. That is clear. Go softly.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Carl D'Agostino
    April 3, 2020

    I had to put my sweet “I love my daddy” yellow lab to sleep 35 years ago. Was so traumatic I never got another dog. Never will. Not a day passes when I don’t think of her. I understand.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. acflory
    April 3, 2020

    I’m so sorry Pinky. Totally inadequate words. Hugs. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  9. maryplumbago
    April 4, 2020

    Heartbreaking, but wonderful pictures

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Charmaine Martin
    April 4, 2020

    So sorry to hear this. There are many difficult things in life – losing a loved one of any species is one of the hardest. Yet we persist in “giving our hearts to a dog to tear” – because the joy is worth the pain.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. agrudzinsky
    April 4, 2020

    It’s tough. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that these things come at us during the most difficult times in our life. May you have the strength to endure.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ruth
    April 5, 2020

    I’m so sorry, Pink. I know how much you love your fur babies. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Bela Johnson
    April 5, 2020


    Liked by 1 person

  14. karenjane
    April 5, 2020

    Never apologise for grieving, or tears. Most people will understand. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  15. midihideaways
    April 6, 2020

    Sending you lots of good thoughts – it’s hard losing a companion!! πŸ€—
    Rudy looks just like the dog of a dear friend of ours in Saint-Chinian. He also came from a shelter, and was also wonderfully naughty, wonderfully energetic and an incredibly loyal companion. When our friend went into a nursing home he had to be rehoused with someone else. His new ‘parents’ were delighted to have him at their home and spoilt him rotten!

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on April 3, 2020 by in life and tagged , , , .
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