My Mazamet

Life at № 42

A Hanging, our Mazaversary and Various Other Versaries

The Hanging:

It looks right.

It was March 2015 when we arrived at number 42. Many corners have been turned since, but now it looks as if the big ones are finally behind us. You can walk through the house without feeling the need to have a clipboard with you to take note of all the things that need to be repaired or refinished. The overall feel is sharp– which can be quite difficult to achieve in a period property, so we’re very happy.

We’re about to embark on the last “big” indoor project. The bathroom of the middle south bedroom. It’s used by Summer Girl #2, so it’ll be ready for her in July. Mike suggested we slow down on everything else (the pergola, built-in bookshelves and so forth) and focus on one thing at a time. He thinks that at this stage we can afford to take our time and get the best possible results. He’s right. To that list of projects I’ve now added a fountain on the wall across from the entrance doors. Something around these lines:

This is a big year for me (mentally) because it’s the 20th anniversary of my coming out. Of my liberation. And of the best decision I ever made which was cutting ties with my family. I’ve been thinking a lot about the effect of history on the self recently. More on that later, but here’s a hint on the angle:

Richard Carlson: “… you can see the innocence in the development of a thought system. You can trace your own thought system back many generations to your great-great grandparents, and well before them. In a real sense you see that which you were taught to see. Over time, and through many years of validation and selective perception based on what you were taught, you made a series of conclusions about life…”

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41 comments on “A Hanging, our Mazaversary and Various Other Versaries

  1. Kris Jennings
    March 29, 2019

    It looks great! Even if the headline “the hanging” had me envisioning something more gruesome 😉

    I have been working with a career coach and doing an exercise to cutout or draw pictures representing each decade of my life. The idea is that you primarily remember the emotional stuff and with perspective you can view it more neutrally.

    But it also shows how over time, thoughts become behaviors become beliefs (often ungrounded in facts). The idea is then to apply it to the future and make intentional changes either by letting go of the past or allowing the future to unfold (vs plan and control it). It’s interesting. I haven’t gotten to future part yet because man I hold onto things 😳

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Steve Ruis
    March 29, 2019

    I want a Mazaversary, tooooo!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 29, 2019

      It’s very interesting for me because in a certain way, my life only really began here. All the time before I was too busy, too anxious,too nervous – to actually make any sense of life.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. john zande
    March 29, 2019

    And of the best decision I ever made which was cutting ties with my family.

    May the bridges I burn light your way.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Robert A. Vella
    March 29, 2019

    If I was rich, I’d hire you to do my interior decorating – all expenses paid! In your spare time, we could dine-out, drink fine wine, and discuss worldly issues. But, alas, I’m not rich. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 29, 2019

      I don’t do that anymore! Hurrah! 😀
      Only work for myself now. But occasionally I do give free advice and accept (some) invitations.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. karenjane
    March 29, 2019

    As always, the tapestry/embroidery wall hanging looks fabulous. I hope your 20th year of liberation is a good one, where you can look forward, or to the not too distant past, & ingore the horrid stuff of your early years. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 29, 2019

      Thank you! And yes, it’s a work in progress, but I am finally getting there. From a simplistic perspective, I’ve crossed “the line”. It feels like I beat the first part of my life as the second part is now *longer*. So technically I’ve spent more time on the good side than on the bad side. Does that make sense?

      Like

  6. jim-
    March 29, 2019

    Not to brag or anything, but since coming out most of my family isn’t talking to me either. House looks great! I like!

    Liked by 3 people

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 29, 2019

      Thanks & lol 🙂
      Family dynamics can be fascinating. Is your entire family religiously inclined? How did they react to your marriage?

      Liked by 2 people

      • jim-
        March 29, 2019

        I’m referring to my atheism. Yes they are religious and now get to practice long and silent hypocrisy.

        Liked by 3 people

      • The Pink Agendist
        March 30, 2019

        Yes, I understood. I meant because religious people are often very tribal and your wife is from a different culture.

        Liked by 1 person

      • jim-
        March 30, 2019

        Ah. I get it. I may be old but I’m slow. Hehe. They were actually really good with the marriage. Belief carries the bigger problem because simply not believing is really considered treason. Anyone that will love you because of belief will abandon you over unbelief. That is what happened to me and many others.

        Liked by 3 people

  7. Diana MacPherson
    March 30, 2019

    Wow that looks great! I’m glad you didn’t suddenly discover it’s crooked after the scaffolding came down! Looking forward to your posts about history and the self.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Colin Bisset
    March 30, 2019

    Love the hanging, and congrats on being true to yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 30, 2019

      Thanks. It’s the Sentencing of Haman after Jean Francois de Troy (story of Esther.) This is a “carton”, so actually a painting rather than a woven tapestry.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. MELewis
    March 30, 2019

    Sounds like you are celebrating a rebirth on many levels and the house is a gorgeous tribute to the journey. Kudos!

    Liked by 3 people

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 30, 2019

      Thank you! I owe a lot to this house. Even though my mind wanders to dark places, it keeps pulling me back 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Anony Mole
    March 30, 2019

    Summer Girl #2 gets her own bed n’ bath? What does Autumn Boy #27 (me) get?

    Liked by 2 people

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 30, 2019

      That reminded me of Frank Sinatra singing It Was A Very Good Year 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • Anony Mole
        March 30, 2019

        But future tense “It will be a very gooood yeeeear, for small town girls/boys who live up stairs, who drink too much, and laugh too loud. It will be a very good year.”

        Liked by 2 people

  11. foolsmusings
    March 31, 2019

    The place looks fantastic. Who knows how bad it would look if you hadn’t come out 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Hariod Brawn
    March 31, 2019

    That carpet looks alright on the wall, but personally I’d have gone for something more modern — like a nice Athena poster of that woman tennis player with no knickers scratching her bum. Still, taste is a personal thing . . .

    Liked by 3 people

  13. CARL R D'Agostino
    March 31, 2019

    Well placed and an impressive addition.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Pink Agendist
      March 31, 2019

      Thanks, Carl! We love it. The colours are better in person. The camera makes them look much flatter than they are in reality.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bela Johnson
        April 4, 2019

        As always – the bane of the photographer!

        Like

      • The Pink Agendist
        April 5, 2019

        Not you, though! Your pictures are always gallery worthy. A good 30% of mine are even out of focus.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bela Johnson
        April 6, 2019

        Don’t sell yourself short! 🙏🌺😘

        Like

  14. Bela Johnson
    April 4, 2019

    Crazy big project. You’ve done well!

    Like

  15. Judi Castille
    April 10, 2019

    I realized life is about moving on and new challenges. Family certainly is z negative historic issue for me and my husband. We certainly don’t want to drag those influences into our future.
    Love your tapestry. We live near Aubusson and want to track down an old tapestry for our mountain house.

    Like

  16. acflory
    April 11, 2019

    20 years is a big anniversary so congratulations. You’re turning into the kind of nice wine that improves as it ages. As for the house, it looks superb. You’ve given no. 42 a whole new future. Bravo. -hugs-

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on March 29, 2019 by in Mazamet, thinking aloud and tagged , , , .
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