Life at № 42 by E.M. Coutinho
If they claim responsibility for series 1-3, then Canada can breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe Trudeau could ask his offshore money manager to speak to their offshore money manager to broker a deal.
The things I’ve learnt so far about Canada 100 years ago:
-Women piled on make-up as if they were modern drag queens or Thai Lady Boys. And their hairstyles were almost identical to those we see on the streets today:
-Canadian mining towns were entirely paved in thick gravel, except the sidewalks which were wood decking.
-It was perfectly acceptable for (allegedly respectable) men and women to live together while unmarried.
-Lady-mayors were all the rage, and women had equal rights.
-Problems never took more than 24 hours to resolve – except sexual harassment, which took 48 hours.
But now let’s take a moment to talk about their choice of male lead: Jack. Jack the Mountie.
I’m not sure if they chose him for his eel-face with the wrap around eyes (very convenient in horse-racing, as one can look forwards and sideways at about the same time), or for his smile made famous during his “journey” to becoming Tajikistan Idol. You didn’t know he was Tajik? Well, that eye to nose to face width ratio only happens when a Romanian fortune teller marries a Tajik goat herder on the full moon. In Tajikistan Idol instead of a recording contract you win a barrel of pickled goat’s testicles. Abdullo (his real name) traded his barrel for a ticket to Canada in hopes of meeting his long lost grandmother, Celine, who escaped Tajikistan in her teens – but bears strikingly similar facial feature ratios to her grandson:
Abdullo convinced his unwitting grandmother to pitch When Calls the Heart to the Hallmark Channel where sleeper number 2 (Bill “Firuz” Abbott) was waiting to bite. And that’s why we are where we are today. The terrorists have won, but we live to fight another day.
And btw, Congratulations to Australians on the vote for marriage equality!