The one terribly unpleasant thing I found when we moved into number 42 were the loos. From a little distance they look normal, but as one approaches, one discovers they’re of the German persuasion. My first encounter with a German loo was travelling as a child. I (still) remember looking at it and trying to make sense of the thing. It didn’t take me long to decide the only reasonable explanation for that design was that Germans sat on the loo differently, straddling the thing. Why they did this I did not know, but alas, they’re an odd, meat boiling, sort of people.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me explain with pictures.
Many years later (well into adolescence) I discovered to great horror that my theory was entirely mistaken. Germans weren’t a quirky loo straddling people. That little platform you see (Balcony? Observation deck? Presentation tray?), is there so one can have a good look at what’s just come out of one’s body. Yes, seriously. Eeeeeewwwwww.
Anyway, one by one they’re being removed from number 42. There’s now only one left to go. Thank goodness. It’s just a horrendous concept. To look back and see something just sitting there, like it’s waiting to take a selfie with you.
I am laughing. . . is there anyone who thinks like you, Mr. M?
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What would your theory have been?
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I have never heard tell of a toilet of that design . . . and I’m still laughing. (I’m also cultural deficient, which I’ve said before) 🙂
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Here’s a real life picture
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. . .big grin. . . they’re BIG!!
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‘Real life’ – Hahahahaha. Do you poo Mars Bars?!
– Esmecloud signing Mr Pink up for the circus as his manager.
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No, Snickers 😛
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I had you down as a Ferrero Rocher man.
– Esme falling about upon the Cloud
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Look what I found just for you!
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Hahahaha, yes I know, I recall finding that out myself when someone said “Oh that’s a shelf so you can examine your poo and see if it’s healthy”. Lovely. Not actually that strange if you are worried about such things, but generally not a necessity to keep all poo on a plinth.
– Esme of Cloud fame falling about but careful not to fall into the loo at Mr Pink’s place
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It’s so rude!!!!!
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You must never go to Thailand dear. I have, and they have this kind of set up almost everywhere –
https://www.travelblog.org/Asia/Thailand/Central-Thailand/Samut-Sakhon-/blog-670207.html
A hole in the ground that you stand over and a sponge in a bucket of old water to wipe your bum with. I kid you not.
– Esmecloud never forgetting that journey.
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My daughter has been there and told me about this. . . 🙂
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Been there, done that!!! Those are called Turkish loos. Back in the old days, that’s what they had at petrol stations in France.
When you say sponge, do you mean a communal sponge?
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I’m afraid I do . . . obviously I did not go along the ‘when in Rome’ path and had my own stash of toilet paper that I had to then dispose of asap somewhere else. No loo roll! Ye gads!
– Esmecloud laughing at the idea of Mr Pink availing himself of such amenities.
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Maybe they straddle it facing the wall?
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Precisely my theory 😀
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The old Soviet toilets are the same. When I first came to the U.S. and saw a toilet half-filled with water I thought it’s clogged. The water may help with the smell, but also the poop sometimes makes a splash which may feel uncomfortable. And the “German” design is much more convenient to collect a specimen for a poop test.
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How often do you need to collect specimens? 🤔
The Spanish/Portuguese version is somewhere in the middle. More water than the English/French version, but much less than the American.
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This is what we used in the Soviet army (this picture is taken in China, but ours were identical). My school in western Ukraine was in a building constructed in Austro-Hungarian times. It had squatters as well.
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Have you ever seen Roman ones?
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Yes. I’ve read somewhere that they had a shared cloth for a TP.
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P.S. I’m not sure what those spoons are for?!?
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Those are the sponges (not clothes) https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/28/47/d4/2847d476adb6013b2f15d45869e61910.jpg
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That works much better than a spoon !
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Here is a Japanese one where you do face the wall. It also helps to keep one focused on the business. Hard to check Facebook when you have to hold onto the bar. I’ve also heard that squatting position is a lot better than sitting for the bowel movement. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet#/media/File:Ginga_train_japanese_style_toilet.jpg
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Speaking of Japan, have you ever used a Japanese washlet? It’s a seat that takes liberties…
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No! Should I?
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Everyone should! They have them everywhere in Japan. And they really are a very clever concept. I don’t understand how/why they haven’t caught on in the West yet. The first time it’s a bit of a shock, but by the third, it all makes sense 🙂
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Spoons! Hahahahaha
– Esme not wanting to eat dinner at Mr Pink’s lace anytime soon
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Do you still eat with a spoon?
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The best people only eat with sporks and teaspoons.
– Esme ‘oldin’ ‘er little finger up all refined like as she drinks ‘er cuppa on the Cloud
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Another mystery for me is why there is a gap in the middle of some toilet covers, but not others. My guess is that the gap is designed to accommodate the male anatomy, but I’m not sure. The ones without a gap work fine for me too.
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Yes, I’ve wondered about that too. Is it not just a way to save on production expenses?
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The gap is so that guys can pee standing up without raising the seat. Hugs
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I thought so too, but it does not quite work. I would not be surprised if those seats have been designed for the Roman-style toilet with a different shape where this gap did make sense.
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You’re right in a way. I was wrong. Just looked it up.
Simnick explains that the open seat was designed to allow women “to wipe the perineal area after using the water closet” without contacting a seat that might be unhygienic. The U-shaped seat in public restrooms is a requirement of IAPMO’s Uniform Plumbing Code.Apr 23, 2013
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hugs
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I regret not having found the time to check out http://www.sulabhtoiletmuseum.org/ in New Delhi.
Are you sure you want to remove ALL your German toilets? They’re clearly a point of considerable interest.
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And did you notice the counterweighted (for men) seat?
If you like, I’ll save you one for your new house 😀
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The water tank up under the ceiling is also way cool. Also very common design in the Soviet Union.
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Yes, from the days water pressure was a big problem. Did you ever have to deal with a drip/drip shower?
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I know whether it is healthy from the feel of it coming out. Who would have to look at it?
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Germans.
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Well it is a way of finding out if there’s certain food not digesting well. Looking at it. And you can only tell for sure mucus is in there that way too.
– Esme quite sure that Mr Pink has a gruesome interest in poo now, and waving at Clare too from the Cloud
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Also a good way of finding missing Monopoly pieces, stolen jewellery and drugs hidden in balloons.
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HAHAHAHAHA. You’re priceless Mr Pink.
– Esme of Cloud fame
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P.S. Shouldn’t you be signing Esme the Pooh, friend of Hariod-Ore 😛
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If you’re in the mood, Inanity has a post up where she claims she’s all peace and happiness… ignoring, of course, that she supports the Kill-The-Gay movement.
I leave it in your capable hands.
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Hell will freeze over before I visit Inanity’s blog 😀
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I like to pop in from time to time 😉
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You’re missing the fun…
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She’s now trying to say the bills were to protect children from being raped by gays so they can pass on HIV.
Are you sure you don’t want to dive in?
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I am still laughing. Wonderful discussions. While living in Okinawa I came upon the squat-over-the-hole toilets. Thanks for the memories and the education of Loos From Around the World. LOL
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I’d heard about German toilets before. At least they are proper toilets, not hole in the ground squatting types (not good if you have a dodgy hip, i imagine). If I ever get the urge to travel (unlikely as I haven’t even got a passport), the thought of all the strange toilets out there soon brings me to my senses.
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OH…OH….OH….scaring the cats I’m laughing so much! Priceless. 😀
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The Snickers bar reminds me of teen years–we’d throw one in the pool to get out of gym. Baby Ruth is particularly compelling.
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I stumbled into this blog from somewhere, and the first thing I read is an expose of loo design. For some reason, I think I’m going to like this blog.
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I share your opinion of German toilets.
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😀
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