Just Merveilleux

Life at № 42

The Changing of the Loos

The one terribly unpleasant thing I found when we moved into number 42 were the loos. From a little distance they look normal, but as one approaches, one discovers they’re of the German persuasion. My first encounter with a German loo was travelling as a child. I (still) remember looking at it and trying to make sense of the thing. It didn’t take me long to decide the only reasonable explanation for that design was that Germans sat on the loo differently, straddling the thing. Why they did this I did not know, but alas, they’re an odd, meat boiling, sort of people.

Image result for straddling toilet

The German Method?

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me explain with pictures.

Many years later (well into adolescence) I discovered to great horror that my theory was entirely mistaken. Germans weren’t a quirky loo straddling people. That little platform you see (Balcony? Observation deck? Presentation tray?), is there so one can have a good look at what’s just come out of one’s body. Yes, seriously. Eeeeeewwwwww. 

Anyway, one by one they’re being removed from number 42. There’s now only one left to go. Thank goodness. It’s just a horrendous concept. To look back and see something just sitting there, like it’s waiting to take a selfie with you.

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58 comments on “The Changing of the Loos

  1. Carmen
    June 15, 2017

    I am laughing. . . is there anyone who thinks like you, Mr. M?

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Esme upon the Cloud
    June 15, 2017

    Hahahaha, yes I know, I recall finding that out myself when someone said “Oh that’s a shelf so you can examine your poo and see if it’s healthy”. Lovely. Not actually that strange if you are worried about such things, but generally not a necessity to keep all poo on a plinth.

    – Esme of Cloud fame falling about but careful not to fall into the loo at Mr Pink’s place

    Liked by 2 people

  3. dpmonahan
    June 15, 2017

    Maybe they straddle it facing the wall?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. agrudzinsky
    June 15, 2017

    The old Soviet toilets are the same. When I first came to the U.S. and saw a toilet half-filled with water I thought it’s clogged. The water may help with the smell, but also the poop sometimes makes a splash which may feel uncomfortable. And the “German” design is much more convenient to collect a specimen for a poop test.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. agrudzinsky
    June 15, 2017

    This is what we used in the Soviet army (this picture is taken in China, but ours were identical). My school in western Ukraine was in a building constructed in Austro-Hungarian times. It had squatters as well.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. agrudzinsky
    June 15, 2017

    Another mystery for me is why there is a gap in the middle of some toilet covers, but not others. My guess is that the gap is designed to accommodate the male anatomy, but I’m not sure. The ones without a gap work fine for me too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, I’ve wondered about that too. Is it not just a way to save on production expenses?

      Liked by 2 people

    • Scottie
      June 16, 2017

      The gap is so that guys can pee standing up without raising the seat. Hugs

      Liked by 2 people

      • agrudzinsky
        June 16, 2017

        I thought so too, but it does not quite work. I would not be surprised if those seats have been designed for the Roman-style toilet with a different shape where this gap did make sense.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Scottie
        June 16, 2017

        You’re right in a way. I was wrong. Just looked it up.

        Simnick explains that the open seat was designed to allow women “to wipe the perineal area after using the water closet” without contacting a seat that might be unhygienic. The U-shaped seat in public restrooms is a requirement of IAPMO’s Uniform Plumbing Code.Apr 23, 2013

        Liked by 3 people

      • Scottie
        June 16, 2017

        hugs

        Liked by 1 person

  7. vjc1000
    June 15, 2017

    I regret not having found the time to check out http://www.sulabhtoiletmuseum.org/ in New Delhi.

    Are you sure you want to remove ALL your German toilets? They’re clearly a point of considerable interest.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Clare Flourish
    June 15, 2017

    I know whether it is healthy from the feel of it coming out. Who would have to look at it?

    Liked by 4 people

  9. john zande
    June 15, 2017

    If you’re in the mood, Inanity has a post up where she claims she’s all peace and happiness… ignoring, of course, that she supports the Kill-The-Gay movement.

    https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2017/06/15/alt-right-sbc-and-war-with-the-church/comment-page-1/#comment-50560

    I leave it in your capable hands.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. appletonavenue
    June 15, 2017

    I am still laughing. Wonderful discussions. While living in Okinawa I came upon the squat-over-the-hole toilets. Thanks for the memories and the education of Loos From Around the World. LOL

    Liked by 3 people

  11. karenjane
    June 15, 2017

    I’d heard about German toilets before. At least they are proper toilets, not hole in the ground squatting types (not good if you have a dodgy hip, i imagine). If I ever get the urge to travel (unlikely as I haven’t even got a passport), the thought of all the strange toilets out there soon brings me to my senses.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. acflory
    June 15, 2017

    OH…OH….OH….scaring the cats I’m laughing so much! Priceless. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  13. kjennings952
    June 15, 2017

    The Snickers bar reminds me of teen years–we’d throw one in the pool to get out of gym. Baby Ruth is particularly compelling.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Max
    June 16, 2017

    I stumbled into this blog from somewhere, and the first thing I read is an expose of loo design. For some reason, I think I’m going to like this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on June 15, 2017 by in life, thinking aloud and tagged , , , .
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