Just Merveilleux

Life at № 42

Patriarchy, feminism & other things

super

What do you think gay boys fear being called the most when we’re young? It’s not a short list, is it? I bet you came up with at least three almost immediately. Now I want you to ask yourself why? What makes those words insulting? Do they describe actions? Ideas? Manner? Perhaps, but it’s all code. What they actually describe is gender.

The gay boy’s greatest fear is to be seen as doing anything like a girl. That is because, obviously, doing anything like a girl is inferior. Run like a girl. Catch like a girl. Talk like a girl. The feminine is second-rate. More than second-rate because a whole range of insults only exist in their feminine form. Bimbo, bitch, whore, slut. Who wants to grow up to be one of those? We learn very early on that if we want to succeed socially we’re going to have to be real men. That means adopting all (or at least many) of the behaviours society has categorised as masculine.

We’re tough. We don’t cry. We’re blunt. We certainly don’t want to talk. We don’t care about feelings. We’re decisive and adventurous. It’s our responsibility to fund our family unit. We don’t complain. We suck it up. We walk it off. We don’t want to be whipped. We want to wear the pants. Our measure of value within male groups relates to externalisation of these things in three forms: sexual prowess, athletic prowess and/or success in business. This happens at all levels of life. In some circles this is taken to the level of Trump’s comments to Billy Bush, which he was happy to brush off as just locker room banter. In others, it’s much worse. I believe that in the case of the Rio gang rape in June the attackers tweeted pictures and comments of the episode as it happened.

You might think it’s extreme to use the example of gang rape, but it isn’t. That sort of behaviour is the direct result of the subjugation and inferiorization of women. As soon as it’s clear a group of people is less than, we get to treat them that way. That’s the sort of thing feminists have been fighting for a very long time. Which is why I despair when I see  posts like this or like this. I despair first and foremost because of the exceptional arrogance. The sort of arrogance I’ve seen and heard before, the millions of times when heterosexual people told me what LGBT people should really be worried about. Because they know better, obviously.

Secondly I despair at the lack of perspective and knowledge. To be able to deny the existence of a system which colours every aspect of life on this planet is utterly shocking.  Patriarchy is where people are coming from when they oppose birth control, when they oppose reproductive rights, when they oppose LGBT rights. It’s why we see stories about Hillary’s pant suits or her cankles. It’s why the Catholic church doesn’t have female clergy. It’s why the vast majority of countries on this planet haven’t had a female leader. It’s why we actually hear people trying to explain away the gender pay gap… you know, because the pay gap only refers to one part of a woman’s work life, so it’s okay!

Now back to the issue of the need for feminism- I’ll leave you with some (recent) clips and you can tell me if we’re in a post feminist world or not.

Here’s what happened when a French (female) government minister wore a dress to work at the National Assembly (3 years ago):

And here’s an amusing one. Watch out for the first question this high ranking (female) politician gets on a major news program (last year):

And in case you missed it, or if you want to see it again here’s John Oliver on Lady Bucks:

Advertisements

43 comments on “Patriarchy, feminism & other things

  1. Carmen
    October 11, 2016

    Many thanks – AGAIN – Mr. M.

    But I am upset by the fact that we still need articles like this .. . that we STILL need to be pointing these things out to otherwise intelligent people in 2016. .that we still need to remind people that it’s a far better ideal to strive for men NOT raping women than harping away at women to better protect themselves. . I could go on.

    The thing that upsets me the most, however is this: That we need men to say all these things because so many other men – and some women! – just don’t fucking listen to women when they say these fucking things.

    (two ‘f’s in one sentence – OK, I’m pissed)

    Liked by 10 people

  2. dpmonahan
    October 11, 2016

    A lot of gay youths are horrified of people finding out, only to be pleasantly surprised that when it does come out nobody really cares. But all adolescents are like that – we were all convinced that other people thought about us much more than they did, or that our friends affection for us was more shallow than it really was.
    Yes it is horrifying to a boy to be called a girl, but not for a girl to be called a girl. And most little girls consider boys to be inferior creatures: rude, unsanitary, dangerous, irrational, utterly lacking in self control.

    Liked by 4 people

    • They may consider boys inferior, but they’ll then go on to learn their role should be one of subservience.

      Liked by 3 people

      • dpmonahan
        October 11, 2016

        Ha! Tell me where I can find these pliable subservient women who are conditioned to be nothing more than objects of my whims and lusts.

        Like

      • I think you have to order them online 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      • dpmonahan
        October 11, 2016

        I’m not into Asians or robots, or Asian robots for that matter.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Russian robots?

        Liked by 1 person

      • dpmonahan
        October 11, 2016

        1) I don’t trust Russian technology, probably runs on coal or something.
        2) The advertisements all say the Russians are into older men. I assume the same goes for their robots and I’m not old yet.

        Liked by 2 people

      • clubschadenfreude
        October 11, 2016

        hmmm, many many Christian women fulfill this role, especially the fundamentalist versions of Christianity. It’s not that hard at all to find women like this DP. No speaking in church, no disobeying the husband, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hariod Brawn
    October 11, 2016

    “Our measure of value within male groups relates to externalisation of these things in three forms: sexual prowess, athletic prowess and/or success in business.” – Hmm, maybe I’ve led an unusual life, but I’ve never (let me think . . . yes, never), found this to be true in my 60+ years in England. What about wit, creativity, sagacity, analytical faculty, even empathy, and so on; I’ve invariably found these highly valued traits within male groups – no? I certainly recognise the faux insouciance you allude to in some groupings of the immature, and also the rare(?) egocentric male’s tendency to gravitate towards deeply acculturated archetypes – Jesus, James Bond, et al. You’d make a fabulous Miss Moneypenny, by the way. 😉 – but adopting such stances tends to lead to eschewing by other males. I accept you may be generalising for the purposes of brevity, Pink. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • I am generalising, and there are certainly cultural differences, but I think from an evolutionary standpoint those were the classic markers. Locker room talk isn’t just talk, it’s a game in which people are affirming their position within a group.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. silenceofmind
    October 11, 2016

    Mr. Merveilleux,

    The leftist message of racial and gender politics that you preach with such unquestioning passion, is deadly, dangerous and damaging to the people you are supposedly advocating for.

    This is because what is right and wrong is based on our human nature, not our gender, skin color or sexual preference.

    Bullying, and other sorts of abusive behavior is evil not because it assaults gender identity, skin color or sexual preference.

    It is evil because it is an assault on our human nature.

    That means when someone bullies another who he perceives as weaker than himself he is not assaulting a gender, a skin color or a sexual preference. he is assaulting the humanity of another human being.

    Your leftist message of racial and gender politics divides humanity it does unite humanity.

    It makes a some sections of humanity feel like victims and condemns others for being criminal.

    And that makes your divisive message of racial and gender politics a crime against humanity.

    You and all leftists like you, should be ashamed of themselves.

    Like

    • clubschadenfreude
      October 11, 2016

      Ah, here we have SOM showing that DP is a little ignorant on how and why women learn to be subservient, e.g. the Christian religion and those believers like SOM who can’t bear thinking someone is as good as he is. It’s hilarious that SOM warns on how “dangerous” Pink’s message is to those he advocates for. Funny how those people don’t find it dangerous at all. Good try, SOM, but your crocodile tears aren’t convincing anyone. Your “concern” is anything but that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • clubschadenfreude
        October 11, 2016

        I’ll add “some women”, rather than just “women” learning to be subservient. it also begs the question, why does a religion find it needs to say this nonsense?

        Like

    • persedeplume
      October 11, 2016

      Pop Quiz:
      Who said:
      “That is why human rights are nothing but someone’s personal opinion…”
      “Rights are based on human nature”
      in the space of one post?
      I can’t think of anyone more firmly in the “us vs them” camp than you are. All one has to do is read your commentary on gays. Your contradictions and incoherence speaks for itself more clearly than any atheist could.

      Liked by 1 person

      • silenceofmind
        October 12, 2016

        Plume,

        You picked up one of the excellent points of my comment.

        That point being the stark contrast between the natural law ethics of Aristotle and the divisive, social destructive, amoral ethics of the modern Progressive.

        Like

      • Carmen
        October 12, 2016

        Ah yes, Aristotle and his ‘deformed males’. . . gotta love that guy. . . 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • persedeplume
        October 12, 2016

        Oh! May I use this? Much like the “Deepity” that precedes it, I’ll call it the the Silence of my Mindity”. When you compare to the old axiom, “if you can’t amaze them with brilliance, [and you haven’t] you must baffle them with…the stark contrast between the natural law ethics of Aristotle and the divisive, social destructive, amoral ethics of the modern Progressive.

        Liked by 1 person

      • persedeplume
        October 12, 2016

        @Carmen. Excellent point! One could almost point to his views on the status of women in Greek society and the prevalent practice of pederasty to conclude that like Plato and all the other males he actively participated in it. At very least with Plato…..
        That would be embarrassing to tout a fellows philosophy that was all Adam and Steve.

        Like

      • Carmen
        October 12, 2016

        I bet he’s squirming now.. . 🙂 (not for the first time, mind you)

        Like

      • persedeplume
        October 12, 2016

        Ha ha. We’ll see. 🙂

        Like

      • silenceofmind
        October 12, 2016

        Carmen,

        There you go again, judging mankind from the seat of your toilet thrown.

        People who are ignorant of natural law theory and the teachings of Aristotle are ignorant barbarians.

        Progressivism has been the political philosophy of tyrants and their ignorant plebe followers since civilization began.

        Like

      • Carmen
        October 12, 2016

        Ah, but I’m not an ignorant barbarian, SoM; I am well aware of Aristotle’s ‘teachings’ and he’s no mentor of mine. I can certainly see why he’d be one of yours, though.

        Do tell us, though – from whatever throne you’re squirming upon – do you agree with plume’s insightful observation? 😉

        Like

      • silenceofmind
        October 12, 2016

        Carmen,

        If you are going to offer an argument please make it on point and as rational as possible.

        “Deformed males” has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand.

        In fact, if you had studied Aristotle at all, you’d understand that a response like “deformed males” is a logical fallacy.

        You don’t the brains or the education to actually argue the point at hand, so you move the goal post (change the subject) and pretend no one will notice.

        Aristotle’s “deformed males” sounds like a nugget of fecal matter you picked up off your kitchen floor and kept because you thought it was a jewel.

        Like

      • Carmen
        October 12, 2016

        Obviously, you can’t even Google. The term ‘deformed male’ refers to the description Aristotle used for females. Next time, do some research. It’s what we’re used to doing – those of us with brains and education, that is. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Carmen
        October 12, 2016

        Well, gee whiz. I was thinking, “Don’t go away mad, just go away!” and he did! 🙂

        Like

  5. acflory
    October 11, 2016

    I have a confession to make, despite being female and very comfortable in my skin [or perhaps because of it], I have always felt uncomfortable with the feminist ‘movement’.
    I believed that neither protests nor legislation /could/ change the fundamental attitudes that underly all discrimination, including the overt and covert discriminition levelled at women.
    I believed that those attitudes could only be changed slowly, one individual at a time.
    I believed in humanism.

    I still believe in humanism, but I was wrong about the protests and the legislation.
    When something is woven into the fabric of society as deeply as discrimination based on gender, sexual orientation or race, it has to be called out. It has to be shown for what it is, over and over and over again until finally, little pennies start to drop.
    The problem is too big for any individual to make much of an impact. And so, reluctantly, I have to admit that feminism has a place in the world, even my world.

    But if an individual acts like an arsehole I will hate him or her, no matter what their cause.
    When it really matters, fundamental attitudes are still changed, one individual at a time. Or not.

    Like

  6. metan
    October 12, 2016

    You and DP did it above though. Yeah, I know it was a joke about pliant, subservient, mail order brides coming from Asia, and Russian women pursuing older (and presumably wealthy) men, but still, it was the same old joke we’ve all heard in a million different ways about it being ok for (usually white) men to treat those inferior foreign women as chattel.

    The same joke about an older man and a young attractive man, or the young, beautiful ‘trophy’ wife, it makes it ok to just assume that one half of that couple is an accessory rather than an actual human.

    I know, I sound like I have no sense of humour, so now I’m going to make up for my rant with a commercial that is running on our tv screens at the moment. I want to hate it because it is from one of the big four banks, and liking anything they do is dangerously unAustralian, but still, the fact that they used kids to express the equal pay argument so perfectly deserves a tip of the hat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • But does the mail order bride phenomena say more about the ordered or the orderer?
      In my own experience of an age-gap relationship, both people get criticism 😉

      Like

      • metan
        October 12, 2016

        I doubt mail order bride could be called a phenomena, it really is just a new term for an old concept isn’t it? It’s probably the oldest story there is, a woman without power seeking out a man with power (money, property, the fattest cows, the most slaves, the best spear throwing arm) in the hopes of improved status or a better life. It’s just that we are judging it through the lens of a society which has the expectation that every relationship should be like a romantic chick flick.

        I guess a relationship where the beginning wasn’t based on romance has the benefit of both parties knowing where they stand.

        So, to me, age gap relationship or mail order bride… The one it says most about is the one doing the judging! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Absolutely! The idea that anyone can judge based on what we see on the surface is ridiculous.

        Liked by 1 person

      • metan
        October 12, 2016

        Of course, a lot of the judging when it comes to age difference relationships is based on jealousy, “Curse him, and the hot young thing on his arm! 😀

        Ps: Reading SOM’s comment above I can do nothing but laugh, he’s done everything possible to say he doesn’t agree with you, while agreeing entirely… You’re both driving to the same place, he just doesn’t want to be seen in the car with you! 😀
        Can I request a post about trump and the cause of his incessant sniffing, just want to see SOM’s head explode in the comment section… 😀

        Liked by 1 person

    • acflory
      October 12, 2016

      I haven’t seen this ad but it’s BRILLIANT!

      Like

      • metan
        October 12, 2016

        I’m glad I could show it to you, who would have thought one of our banks could do something so topical and amusing! Although there is that Westpac rescue helicopter ad running too, pointing out that even if you don’t bank with them they’ll save you anyway. 😀

        (I wonder if the ANZ did an internal wages review before releasing the ad, just to make sure they themselves were paying everyone equally!)

        Like

      • acflory
        October 12, 2016

        ‘I wonder if the ANZ did an internal wages review’ lol – if they didn’t, I hope one of the other banks picks it up and runs with it!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Argus
    November 6, 2016

    For myself: when young I fell in with the mores of my time.
    All effeminate men were duckies and/or queers, as were the duckies and queers.

    I grew up.

    I now judge people entirely on what they outwardly demonstrate of their inward beliefs and that’s the end of it.

    I went through the stage of deliberately accepting Duckies as people (liberal attitude, well ahead of my time).
    Now it no longer matters a whit.
    People are people, be they black white yellow red or striped. What matters is their core values, as revealed by what they say and do; if their values resonate with mine I don’t give a damn. (Hence my rabid dislike of Islam, but that’s another issue.)

    Equal pay for equal work?
    Why employ women at all, or for that matter—men?
    Why not just employ people? (Look at the savings in (say) a one-size-fits-all washroom facility …)(or are we not quite that equal, yet?)

    Women are not the opposite sex—I prefer them to be the adjacent sex.
    Luckily it is now common practice for the Ladies to cuss and swear anywhere/anytime so I don’t have to worry about dropping an out-of-character clanger in mixed company (which I simply don’t, but I’m very much a minority in many public places).

    But to iron out all the differences would make the world a sorrier place. I get looked at askance when I open the car door for The Spouse but I won’t stop doing it.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. elunedamurphy
    December 21, 2016

    This article is awesome, thanks! Well written and I love the links. Having just written something about ‘sluts’ I am all too aware of the ‘like a girl’ attitude. Also so interested in the idea of women rejecting feminism (but that’s another blog to write).
    The second class view of women becomes more apparent the more I look into it, and language can be a powerful tool to either raise a group up or tear them down.
    You basically said it all. Thanks.

    Like

  9. notbehindyou
    January 5, 2017

    Jesus, wtaf is going on in these comments.

    Like

  10. beanthinkin
    January 23, 2017

    Hi!
    I’ve recently started a blog and its going to be exploring a lot of different topics because its my primary outlet for thought and we (humans) are complicated creatures with many feelings and opinions, but some of the topics I would LOVE to explore with others is menstruation, feminism, sex health and consent. I think its insane that something that over half the world experiences first hand is still considered “taboo” and would like to start getting it into the spotlight. I only got started o this project a few days ago, and I’m not a pro with blogging or wordpress, so feel free to follow or comment or contact me with suggestions.
    The plan is to start with my own experiences, maybe throw in a few period promotional works, but eventually (when there is a certain level of interest), I would like to start sharing and reblogging other peoples stories and views, through a category called “My menstrual miracles”
    I can see how this would seem like a lot of self promotion, but I really would love to get some support and suggestions on how to break this stigma.
    https://beantheredonethat94.wordpress.com
    So check it out (or don’t)
    but keep being badasses, that are taking control of both their bodies and the internet! xxx
    Elizabeth Rose

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on October 11, 2016 by in activism and tagged , , , , , , , .
%d bloggers like this: