Just Merveilleux

Life at № 42

Day 12

DAN01

I stopped smoking completely 12 days ago. A day and a half before we went to the funeral. A long time ago I used to smoke two packs of Marlboro 100’s per day. When Mike stopped smoking I moved to 10 Dannemann cigarillos p/day. Occasionally a bit more. Unfortunately my body isn’t what it used to be. The cough/flu I had a few weeks back was terribly unpleasant. I’m never, ever ill- and I really didn’t enjoy the experience.

I also (temporarily) reduced my alcohol intake to two glasses of wine per day. Sort of. Anyway, just until I feel 100% myself again. I will stick to the not smoking though. Except I’ll allow myself a single cigarillo on special occasions.

There’s been no stress associated to the experience- which I don’t find surprising at all. I’m under the impression that “addiction” as it’s understood by the public is a social construct, in great part due to AA (quasi-religious) propaganda. There is no basis to say human beings aren’t capable of moderation, unless of course, one decides they are incapable.

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39 comments on “Day 12

  1. makagutu
    April 18, 2016

    Hope you stay free for a long while to come

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Esme upon the Cloud
    April 18, 2016

    Well done that man. I agree about the ‘addiction’, having kicked the ‘habit’ several years ago without a look back and it hasn’t been hard at all. I went to a ‘day’ which involved someone challenging all present beliefs about smoking and basically retrained one’s mind to not need it over a course of several hours. The alcohol I keep in check these days too but wouldn’t be without it, and don’t need to be.

    – esme nodding upon the Cloud

    Liked by 2 people

    • makagutu
      April 19, 2016

      back in the day we used to have very dark clouds. Now I finally have the answer; it was Esme in the cloud puffing a few

      Liked by 2 people

      • Esme upon the Cloud
        April 19, 2016

        Hahahahaha. Ahem.

        – esme clean honest guv upon the Cloud

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hariod Brawn
        April 19, 2016

        You’ll never catch Esme puffing on a fag Mak.

        Like

      • makagutu
        April 19, 2016

        Hi Hariod many days no hear.
        I think Esme has been puffing on clouds lately. The air feels thin 🙂

        Like

      • Hariod Brawn
        April 19, 2016

        Hi Mak, I’ve been staying with my sister up near London for several days, so have not been around ’til today. As to Esme, well, she’s an enigma that girl, and the air always feels thin when she’s not around.

        Like

      • makagutu
        April 20, 2016

        Glad to hear all that. Hope your sister is in good health.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. KIA
    April 18, 2016

    Best thing you can do for your health. Congratulations and best wishes for success

    Liked by 1 person

  4. metan
    April 18, 2016

    Well done you.

    The Man of the House gave up smoking about ten years ago (for the second time) and now we wonder how in earth we would pay for them if he hadn’t. Australia must have the most expensive cigarettes in the world!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know! They’re a fortune here too. Way back in the day when I started smoking a pack was $1.50 🙂 Twenty years later…

      Like

      • metan
        April 18, 2016

        I know! I smoked for a while as a rebellious teenager and the cost was barely noticeable. Now the government here is using price rises to encourage people to give up. They cost so much that I could choose between filling my station wagon with petrol or buying three packets of cigarettes!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Cara
    April 18, 2016

    I smoked two packs of Marlboro Reds when I was in college & a pack cost $2.25 US (the good old days). But everyone smoked in college, the front steps of the main building was continuously shrouded in a cloud of smoke. Also, nobody slept in college, everyone drank too much (too much beer, too much coffee).

    At 38, I smoke less than a pack a day (largely because a pack now costs 12.50 US & you can’t smoke anywhere in public here in NYC) and I still drink too much coffee. Well, other people think I drink too much coffee. I think coffee is the fuel that keeps me going.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. foolsmusings
    April 18, 2016

    Congrats, I quit smoking nearly 4 years ago now. If you find it getting my a bit too stressful, I recommend a book called “The easy way to quit smoking” it helped me a lot. I agree about AA, just a bunch of religious fanatics.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. dpmonahan
    April 18, 2016

    Ha! That’s nothing, I’ve quit smoking dozens of times!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. john zande
    April 18, 2016

    Good for you. I guess I’m next…

    Liked by 1 person

    • 😀 I’m sure one or two a day would be fine 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • carolineturriff
        April 18, 2016

        Congratulations on giving up smoking especially as you were smoking quite a lot. Be careful on the having one or two every now and again though as I know a lot of people who have started back smoking that way. I gave up smoking when I was 25 and it wasn’t difficult at all. I used patches but I was only smoking 7 a day. I stopped smoking so young so I didn’t get wrinkles which worked but I did take up cocaine instead! Also I was still smoking dope after I gave up cigarettes. By the time I was 34 I was using cocaine and drinking 22 hours a day because my mother was in a terrible state after multiple strokes. I was also rampantly bulimic and almost lost my house because of my shopping habit. Whether you call it an addiction or not doesn’t matter, if something is harmful to you and you can’t stop doing it then you need to do something about it. I was 11 years clean off alcohol and drugs at the beginning of this year. I’m in AA but I think the whole God emphasis of the programme is very problematic. I can’t pray at the moment as I’m not sure I believe in God. Good luck on your journey.

        Like

    • Arkenaten
      April 18, 2016

      Go for it, John!

      Like

  9. tildeb
    April 18, 2016

    I played what has been described as “a hauntingly beautiful’ solo a few weeks back where I was all by lonesome for 32 very slow bars (principle trumpet) that then led into a full symphonic piece. I received many compliments from some really fine musicians and critical patrons alike – especially about tone (gave me shivers), phrasing (carried me along an emotional, wrenching journey), breath control (don’t you ever get nervous?), and dynamics (your last note fading into nothing was the most beautiful musical experience I’ve had and made me cry).

    People are usually quite dismissive of me seen having a smoke before a concert and others genuinely shocked finding me having a smoke after such a display and of course the most common statement/question is “You don’t smoke?!” as if the incongruity is simply too much to process. C’est imposible! My standard response is either “Only for the past fifty years” or “That’s what other long distance runners tell me, too.”

    Sure, there are all kinds of negatives about smoking. There are positives, too. But often the particulars are lost in the generalizing and smoking has become synonymous with weak character fiber, drug addiction, and harm in the same way that drinking red wine has become synonymous with heart health.

    I responded to the first inhale I took like a duck to water. My body embraced smoking as retrieving something that had been misplaced at birth! It was a savior to my social life eliminating my Asperger-like symptoms and all those involuntary ticks and movements and utterances entirely. It allowed me to control my stress response, calm my emotional extremism, grant me reflective time throughout my days to ponder important stuff and follow lines of reasoning to their natural conclusions, all of which created other habits that then allowed me to excel in different endeavors and participate fully in all kinds of extracurricular activities like sports and performance music and public speaking that I have maintained to this day.

    Don’t assume that not smoking is always a Good Thing, a sign of self discipline, integrity, and moral strength. Don’t assume that smoking is always just a bad habit but, if it is, then by all means get rid of it. You’ll save a fortune and feel much better (I’ve been told). But please don’t – and I don;t think you would – revert to the kind of reformed ex-smoker who assumes he or she has therefore transcended to a higher plane of existence.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. clubschadenfreude
    April 18, 2016

    I went from not smoking at all to vaping occasionally. It’s pretty much self medicating I do like that nicotine. I’ve been on a no carbs diet for a few weeks and not drinking. I did have a cheat day for my birthday (I’m a half century old!), and I’m a cheap drunk now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. inspiredbythedivine1
    April 18, 2016

    Reminds me of a scene from the Honeymooners: Norton: “Hey, Ralph, do you mind if I smoke?” Ralph: “I don’t care if ya’ burn.” Congrats on the 12 days. Used to smoke 2 packs of Marlboro a day myself back in the day. Smoke free for 20 plus years now. Wine consumption has stayed the same, however. Sometimes a lot; sometimes more. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Arkenaten
    April 18, 2016

    I’d tried several times but failed miserably. Then, one day it bit, and bit damn hard when a brisk walk up the garden left me gasping for breath – literally. It felt as if I was choking, I couldn’t draw a proper breath.
    Yeah, there could have been other factors involved, but that was enough to scare the shit out of me.
    I do miss cigarettes from time to time and when I smell tobacco smoke I crave for a few seconds.
    But I no longer cough in the morning, I move easier, breath a helluva lot easier, taste has improved and I am told I smell nicer too!
    It’s been three years.

    Good for you. You won’t regret it, I promise.

    Like

    • Exactly the same situation here. I was trying to work in the garden and between gasping and muscle pain from the coughing- I realized things weren’t working as well as they should be. No fun at all.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Arkenaten
        April 19, 2016

        I agree. Without getting any morel melodramatic and cliche-fied , you’ve taken the first step.
        I stopped the ”morning cough” fairly soon after quitting, which was reassuring in itself.
        The ease of breathing followed soon after.
        Though I still crave from time to time the thought of experiencing that ”garden walk” again is enough to keep me away form starting up again.
        Best of luck. I hope you stay ”clean”.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. acflory
    April 19, 2016

    Well done, Pinky! I’m thrilled your long silence wasn’t the result of falling off a ladder. I’m also thrilled that you’re taking your health seriously, and that you feel relaxed enough to give up smoking. That is a big deal.

    As another ex-smoker, I still remember the psychological pull of lighting up and taking that first puff. I haven’t smoked in over 20 years, but I still chew gum. I guess I’m not as Zen as I’d like to be. 😉

    If you’re ever tempted to smoke heavily again, just remember – it does nasty things to your skin. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • The silence was a combination of physical and mental exhaustion 🙂
      All the decision making is still a bit overwhelming. In a way life was very straightforward in Spain. The big decisions were what I was going to make for dinner and putting together a collection of art to sell… Here it’s sort of *everything*, *all the time*.

      Like

      • acflory
        April 19, 2016

        -hugs- You thrive on challenges, just try to take them one at a time. 🙂

        Like

  14. Clare Flourish
    April 19, 2016

    Different people’s experience varies. I smoked the odd half-corona- rarely more than one a month- and when I could not get The Sweeties if I was a smoker, I stopped. And for years after smelling smoke did not give me a craving, exactly, just a tempting “wouldn’t it be nice to-” feeling.

    Like

  15. Helen Devries
    April 19, 2016

    Since my husband gave up smoking without a pang – he said it was four days of wondering what to do with his hands – I take your point about it not being the addiction it is made out to be.

    All too many people conning others into feeling precarious and thus open to buying into ‘cures’ and ‘courses’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • acflory
      April 20, 2016

      I’m not saying the cures are worth the money, just wanted to say that some people are addicted to one thing, some to another. When it comes to alcohol I can take it or leave it, and have mostly left it for the last 15 years because it gives me a headache. Nicotine however, that got me well and truly. Giving up was very hard. I wish I’d been one of those people who never really got hooked on smoking. 😦

      Like

      • Helen Devries
        April 20, 2016

        I’d like to see the cure or course that would put a stop to my addiction to reading….

        Like

      • acflory
        April 20, 2016

        Hah! I think we’re both doomed on that one. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  16. theoccasionalman
    April 24, 2016

    I really appreciate the way you’re gentle with yourself here. A lot of people who quit get really . . . crentao about it (sorry, I’m not sure how to add the tilde over the a). Way to avoid the unnecessary self-condemnation that comes from the overtly religious rhetoric of twelve-step programs.

    Like

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