Veni, Vidi, Perivi
One of the people we first met when we arrived in Mazamet is ill. It was all very quick. In December we went to their Christmas party. He was working until just a couple of weeks ago. From there to discomfort, to pain, to being diagnosed with terminal cancer with a prognosis of a few days left to live.
Quick is always best, in my opinion- but even then death is a shocking affair. It makes one think of things one doesn’t want to think about. Like death. It’s not that I have a problem with accepting the cycle of life, I don’t. It just makes one question how much effort one should put into things. Or even if selfishness might not be the best road? Why not use every bit of time we have left on ourselves?
My Mazamet 
We all are going to leave a legacy. What kind is up to us.
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But how genuinely important is that legacy in the grand scheme of things?
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Who knows? How do you measure the life-altering donation you made lately to those animals and their welfare? Who knows about the ripples you’ve set in motion with your support? Who can tell how the chain of events will now unfold because you decided to act.
Each of us does this in so many ways. All I can control is to align my actions with my intentions and then hope they cause the effect I desire. Mistakes will be made.
Desire is a many-faceted kind of term. I desire to live well, to have an effect that if ever totaled and presented back to me, I can look back and honestly say, “I did what I could to the extent I was willing and left a legacy with as little regret as possible.” I find doing good for its own sake – balanced with meeting my own needs (and some wants) – helps me to attain this sense in the here and now, being present in the here and now, acting in the here and now, but always with an eye forward. And an excellent guide for me is to ask myself before acting, “How will I feel about this tomorrow?”
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‘Selfishness’? Never. Be considerate, generous, harmless, and die content in what one has done as a result. I agree with you on the effort front though, and have known so many strive unthinkingly towards what they believe to be a security and an escape from (what is nearly always) their fears. It doesn’t ever work, and often results in an early illness, or even death.
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Oh, Mr. M — it is rather gob-smacking, isn’t it, when something like this happens? Makes us all take an introspective look. . . I’m sorry about your friend. 😦
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Terrible for his wife… They had all sorts of plans for the future.
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Death can seem fine until we truly want to live (or want others to). Make the most of every moment is the only conclusion I come to, that and not think too much on it (more of a goal!). I understand that selfish impulse, i can’t help but feel it may be trying to protect us from pain and sadness. Warm wishes to all.
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I don’t like to think about death. Let it come when it will but let it be painless and quick
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Except for Donald Trump 😀
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Yes, his should be painful and slow
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Mak, I think you’re got it exactly backwards: thinking very seriously about death as a young person entering adulthood allows one to put life into perspective. If this can be successfully done, then one has an opportunity to start gaining wisdom and let go of the fiction so many of us turn our lives into.
As a 90 year on your death bed, talk to yourself now. (No one regrets not working more hours with or for an asshole, no one one pines about not adhering to a vacuuming schedule, no one wishes they could get out there and do a better job cutting the grass or spend just a few more hours dusting.) What advice would you have? Now gift yourself by listening and then turn it into action.
I think the most common advice I’ve been given (from hundreds in my hospice work) is to think more and act according about regrets. If you can identify a regret before it becomes one, then I think you’ve really hit on something more people wish they had the means before they were dying. And nothing ranks more highly than the people closest to us and our treatment of them.
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We might be the same age, or not, I don’t know. In any event I’ve decided you’re at least 20 years older than me and I’m appointing you my internet father. HA!
So there, people, meet my new Papa 🙂
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Well, I don’t mean that i don’t think about it at all, no, that would be far from the truth.
I just don’t think about it so much to paralyze me with fear of tomorrow.
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Deeply sad. I’d rather death came swiftly for myself and those I love though. It isn’t a bad thing to contemplate mortality, both ones own and that of all around us. But not dwell. Not behaving like an utter bastard is the best way to live your life, that and, I quote “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”. Some can do the former alone, some solely the latter. Both is a beautiful place to be.
– Esme upon the Cloud
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Such a perfect and unarguable sentiment, Emse. I once saw Nat perform at the London Palladium when I was about 8 years old.
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Make that ‘Esme’.
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We all die alone, no matter how many people may be around us. So death is ultimately a self /centred/ thing and I, for one, would like to think that when that moment arrives for me, I’ll be able to look back at my life and think I did the best I could. I’d also like to think that I left a legacy of some kind behind. For me it’s stories. Perhaps for you, Pinky, it will be beautiful structures made of stone and glass and wood. The what doesn’t matter. Hopefully the why does.
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Because I am happier when I devote my time and resources to benefiting the people I love. It’s a sort of self-centered altruism.
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