Just Merveilleux

Life at № 42

Veni, Vidi, Perivi

perish

One of the people we first met when we arrived in Mazamet is ill. It was all very quick. In December we went to their Christmas party. He was working until just a couple of weeks ago. From there to discomfort, to pain, to being diagnosed with terminal cancer with a prognosis of a few days left to live.

Quick is always best, in my opinion- but even then death is a shocking affair. It makes one think of things one doesn’t want to think about. Like death. It’s not that I have a problem with accepting the cycle of life, I don’t. It just makes one question how much effort one should put into things. Or even if selfishness might not be the best road? Why not use every bit of time we have left on ourselves?

Advertisements

18 comments on “Veni, Vidi, Perivi

  1. tildeb
    March 12, 2016

    We all are going to leave a legacy. What kind is up to us.

    Liked by 4 people

    • But how genuinely important is that legacy in the grand scheme of things?

      Liked by 1 person

      • tildeb
        March 12, 2016

        Who knows? How do you measure the life-altering donation you made lately to those animals and their welfare? Who knows about the ripples you’ve set in motion with your support? Who can tell how the chain of events will now unfold because you decided to act.

        Each of us does this in so many ways. All I can control is to align my actions with my intentions and then hope they cause the effect I desire. Mistakes will be made.

        Desire is a many-faceted kind of term. I desire to live well, to have an effect that if ever totaled and presented back to me, I can look back and honestly say, “I did what I could to the extent I was willing and left a legacy with as little regret as possible.” I find doing good for its own sake – balanced with meeting my own needs (and some wants) – helps me to attain this sense in the here and now, being present in the here and now, acting in the here and now, but always with an eye forward. And an excellent guide for me is to ask myself before acting, “How will I feel about this tomorrow?”

        Liked by 5 people

  2. Hariod Brawn
    March 12, 2016

    ‘Selfishness’? Never. Be considerate, generous, harmless, and die content in what one has done as a result. I agree with you on the effort front though, and have known so many strive unthinkingly towards what they believe to be a security and an escape from (what is nearly always) their fears. It doesn’t ever work, and often results in an early illness, or even death.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. carmen
    March 12, 2016

    Oh, Mr. M — it is rather gob-smacking, isn’t it, when something like this happens? Makes us all take an introspective look. . . I’m sorry about your friend. 😦

    Liked by 3 people

  4. boyslikeme
    March 12, 2016

    Death can seem fine until we truly want to live (or want others to). Make the most of every moment is the only conclusion I come to, that and not think too much on it (more of a goal!). I understand that selfish impulse, i can’t help but feel it may be trying to protect us from pain and sadness. Warm wishes to all.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. makagutu
    March 12, 2016

    I don’t like to think about death. Let it come when it will but let it be painless and quick

    Liked by 2 people

    • Except for Donald Trump 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • makagutu
        March 13, 2016

        Yes, his should be painful and slow

        Like

    • tildeb
      March 12, 2016

      Mak, I think you’re got it exactly backwards: thinking very seriously about death as a young person entering adulthood allows one to put life into perspective. If this can be successfully done, then one has an opportunity to start gaining wisdom and let go of the fiction so many of us turn our lives into.

      As a 90 year on your death bed, talk to yourself now. (No one regrets not working more hours with or for an asshole, no one one pines about not adhering to a vacuuming schedule, no one wishes they could get out there and do a better job cutting the grass or spend just a few more hours dusting.) What advice would you have? Now gift yourself by listening and then turn it into action.

      I think the most common advice I’ve been given (from hundreds in my hospice work) is to think more and act according about regrets. If you can identify a regret before it becomes one, then I think you’ve really hit on something more people wish they had the means before they were dying. And nothing ranks more highly than the people closest to us and our treatment of them.

      Liked by 3 people

      • We might be the same age, or not, I don’t know. In any event I’ve decided you’re at least 20 years older than me and I’m appointing you my internet father. HA!
        So there, people, meet my new Papa 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • makagutu
        March 14, 2016

        Well, I don’t mean that i don’t think about it at all, no, that would be far from the truth.
        I just don’t think about it so much to paralyze me with fear of tomorrow.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Esme upon the Cloud
    March 12, 2016

    Deeply sad. I’d rather death came swiftly for myself and those I love though. It isn’t a bad thing to contemplate mortality, both ones own and that of all around us. But not dwell. Not behaving like an utter bastard is the best way to live your life, that and, I quote “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”. Some can do the former alone, some solely the latter. Both is a beautiful place to be.

    – Esme upon the Cloud

    Liked by 2 people

  7. acflory
    March 12, 2016

    We all die alone, no matter how many people may be around us. So death is ultimately a self /centred/ thing and I, for one, would like to think that when that moment arrives for me, I’ll be able to look back at my life and think I did the best I could. I’d also like to think that I left a legacy of some kind behind. For me it’s stories. Perhaps for you, Pinky, it will be beautiful structures made of stone and glass and wood. The what doesn’t matter. Hopefully the why does.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. theoccasionalman
    March 12, 2016

    Because I am happier when I devote my time and resources to benefiting the people I love. It’s a sort of self-centered altruism.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on March 12, 2016 by in life and tagged , , , .
%d bloggers like this: