Late night internet dangers
I know it’s generally a total no no. But once in a while I do it anyway. The how does the ex look now check. This one looks pretty good.
He’s changed very little. When we first met he was part of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell contingent.
If I get to retell my history in the best possible way leaving out the bad parts, he was my first love. We had such fun together. We went our separate ways because he was a marine and I was more of a living in a marina penthouse sort of person- but anyway, fantastic time. He’s single handedly responsible for having made me able to *restart* my life as a confident person. Thanks, handsome 😉
My Mazamet 
Sigh. As a hetero woman I don’t really know what it is about handsome gay men. You both look gorgeous :-). ‘Don’t ask don’t tell’ was a period in history I would like to think we’ve consigned to the rubbish bin, although I suspect the culture lives on …
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He’s the real thing! I sort of fool people into thinking I’m not bad looking, but he’s always been genuinely stunning in a natural state. Even in the morning. The whole time we were together I was petrified that at any moment he’d find out I was nowhere near his league. Fortunately he was incredibly kind and always made an effort to make me feel like I was what he wanted.
DADT was very much a joke. He introduced me to most of his marine friends and I wore his dog-tags around my neck, which was sort of a giveaway 🙂
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The ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ contingency, not our finest moment as a country (and on the long list of things I can’t understand, I mean if a person wants to serve, let them serve). But yeah the old “let’s see how the ex looks”, a game played very late at night when no one is around.
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I second that – you both look so handsome! However, as a woman of a certain age -rolls eyes- I don’t check my ex-es because I don’t want to see how they – and hence I – have aged. Who needs that kind of bad news?
-hugs-
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We discovered that together, which was very amusing. Before meeting each other we had (individually) serious confidence issues regarding how we looked. But then we noticed as a pair, we caused a little bit of stir wherever we went (especially the gay clubs) 🙂 I was 21 and it was the first time in my life I considered the possibility I wasn’t unattractive 🙂 And I’ve never looked back!
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Gawd…distorted body image truly is a terrible thing. I had it too when I was young and losing it is one of the nicer things about getting old.
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Letting go of that angst is a long, slow process. Mr. Marine helped start it, but I’m only approaching moderate levels of sanity now.
I spent all of my 20’s with a gym obsession. So I basically just converted one bad thing into a slightly less damaging one.
Instead of just hating how I looked, I tortured myself with two hours at the gym every single day, protein drinks, charts, weekly measurements, photo comparison sheets… Distilled craziness, but it gave me a sense of control 🙂
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Ugh, Pinky, that’s horrible but I do understand about the control. Being young is hell.
So glad you’re older and wiser now. Oh, and if a straight lady may be so bold, I think you look better now – the distinguished look suits you.
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Actually I thought the top photo was you and that you had deteriorated terribly!
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You get a lifetime of extra credit points for that 😀
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Me too!
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No extra credit points for you!!!! That’s cheating!!!!!
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what? there were gay folks in the Marines? 🙂 it’s like saying “what, most people smoke weed?”
My brother was a Marine. A bit of age on him now but he looks like Tom Cruise but 6 feet tall. He was selected to go to Quantico and be pretty for the brass. And then drove a tank around Kuwait.
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I dunno, I think looks are a man thing. Of course we all want to look nice but I am attracted to people for the quality of person they are. I think it is a man thing to focus so much on looks. I’m taller than my husband and it has never bothered me a bit. When I was younger I loved wearing tall spiky heels, so then I really towered over him, I didn’t think anything of it and actually he always loved me in my spiky heel shoes. Aren’t you glad that you matured past those insecurities? I don’t know why you were insecure in the first place, you look awfully handsome in the pic. Now that you are older you see it too don’t you, when you look at old pics of yourself? Don’t you look at them now and think, “Hey I looked pretty good?”
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Interestingly enough, that insecurity is something I discovered I shared with a number of other gay men of my generation (and older) who grew up in environments that were anti-gay.
I think the psychological cycle is that we start by questioning our general self-worth and then that sort of *infects* every aspect of life. Anti-lgbt discourse when I was growing up was vile. Keep in mind I was born in the late 70’s; for much of my youth being gay was portrayed as a caricature- and a caricature who would eventually die.
And yes, when I look back at the pictures now, I’m shocked. Especially shocked at how effective and destructive anti-lgbt propaganda used to be…
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That makes sense, it makes a whole lot of sense.
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