My Mazamet

Life at № 42 by E.M. Coutinho

Existentialist Nights. Do you ever ask yourself why?

moonlightmazamet

Some nights I wonder. Everything has always had to be so bombastic. I don’t think I’ll ever be cured of that. It’s become a part of me- that rush. A 21 y/o boy who was in Les Miz died yesterday. Fell off a fire escape at his mother’s house. Shocking. I often wonder how I’ve made it to 37 considering all the extravagances and irresponsibilities. Thirty seven seems excessive for me.

This afternoon I looked in the mirror and saw something that somewhat resembled a stomach. Disgusting. I’ve had a 29 inch waist since I was 16 years old. I measured and today I’m at 30.5. I used to be pretty. Not my opinion- it’s just that everyone said so, so I took it to be true. The extra 1.5 inch isn’t pretty.

People are still charming and flirty towards me. Approximately 50% less than 10 years ago. I imagine that’s 50% more than 10 years from now. I detest my awareness of this passing of time, of this passing of my time. The clock isn’t ticking anymore, it’s tuck.

Meanwhile I’m planning a dining room. This whole next week I plan to embrace the art of Japanese fusion vegetarian cuisine.An effort to maintain some degree of physical ‘thin’ dignity. Thinnity?

I’m not bitter, querulous or unkind. I do not hate my legs, I  do not hate my hands, I do yearn for lovelier lands. I certainly don’t dread the dawn’s recurrent light; I do not hate to go to bed at night. I adore the simple, earnest folk. I laugh at every gentle joke. I find peace in paint and type- because the world is not tripe.

 

28 comments on “Existentialist Nights. Do you ever ask yourself why?

  1. john zande
    August 30, 2015

    Sexiness is ageless in Brazil. As you are already aware…

    Like

  2. davidprosser
    August 30, 2015

    Don’t worry about becoming a man of substance. Worry only when that substance starts turning South.
    Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jerbearinsantafe
    August 30, 2015

    Wait until you turn 59 and don’t ever discuss your waistline. On a brighter note I was called pretty recently something I don’t recall ever being said of me before!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. metan
    August 30, 2015

    Is it that only 50% of people are charming and flirty with you now, or is it that 100% of people in your life before were those superficial friends, and now your time is spent with real people?

    Youth is overrated. Yeah, we had better waistlines, but I’d much rather be who I am today that that twenty year old again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mr. Merveilleux
      August 30, 2015

      A bit of each. I did love the days of the doubletake when I walked into a restaurant or a bar 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hariod Brawn
    August 30, 2015

    Oh, it’s not so bad being a fat, old poet. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Charmaine Martin
    August 30, 2015

    It could be verse….
    As Hud says, “Nobody gets out of life alive” … and the ingénue stage can’t last forever. Luckily, you’re headed toward the “distinguished looking gentleman” phase.
    I’m half-way to “hag”. (If I can attain my grandmother’s gorgeous white hair, I won’t mind it so much.)

    Like

  7. docatheist
    August 30, 2015

    E, try something: Measure your waist, again, this time bending your knees enough to straighten your lower back as much as possible. A mirror will help you see the back and understand. If this works, I’ll explain what’s going on. If this works, it’s not your stomach, and you’ll naturally feel younger, freer, and more wonderful just for fixing it.

    Like

    • Mr. Merveilleux
      August 30, 2015

      IT WORKED!!! What’s going on? My lower back is bending inwards. You better not answer osteoporosis!

      Like

      • acflory
        August 30, 2015

        Core stomach muscles?? Which reminds me, where did I leave mine?

        Like

      • Mr. Merveilleux
        August 30, 2015

        Where do I buy more? 🙂

        Like

      • acflory
        August 31, 2015

        Good question. I know Ikea doesn’t have any. 😦

        Like

      • docatheist
        August 31, 2015

        Nope. Hip flexion contractures. They hold the pelvis at a forward tilt, realigning the spine so the guts want to pour out, rather than stay in. Along with hip flexion contractions will be hamstring and gastroc/soleus contractures. I could happily bore you to tears explaining how that is, but all you really have to do is stretch the tight muscles.

        Here’s the easiest way: Get hold of a book called “Stretching” by Bob Anderson. I’ve actually prescribed it to patients, before, with excellent results, when they follow my directions.

        Alternatively, I can describe some stretches for you, here. There’s so much more to it, though, that the book can cover with its illustrations and clear, concise descriptions, that it has to be my first recommendation.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mr. Merveilleux
        August 31, 2015

        Just ordered it. How often must one do these exercises?

        Like

      • docatheist
        August 31, 2015

        Oh, the freedom that returns when you’re not shackled by your own muscles, you’ll do them just because. If you awoke and did the right stretches; got up from work at your desk and did those correct stretches; and periodically team up with Mike*, even, for a few more stretches, it would seem like no time, just a minute here and a minute there.

        Mike* could start helping you, now. Here’s a simple way: Lie on your stomach, bend one knee, and let Mike* gently help try to bring the heel of that same side’s foot to your butt. Do this very gently, because when your pelvis shifts to accomodate, he’ll need to back off. He’ll be able to tell easily, just by putting his hand on your lower back, below your waist.

        At that perfect point, where there’s a gentle stretch, no pain, and no pelvic shift or tilt, both of you just stay there and relax. The muscle’s own stretch-measuring system will decide that amount of stretch is safe, and it will relax its parameters to allow it. The tightness you feel will fade. And then, Mike* can either gently add a little more stretch or slowly let you leg go straight.

        You can do likewise for him, too. And both of you will feel your old, easy gait start to return, along with a sense of youth, neither of which you realized had slipped away. Eventually, you’ll actually get that heel all the way to your butt, too.
        ——————————————–
        *”Mike” is your husband’s name, yes? I can’t remember for certain, so I hope it is.

        Liked by 1 person

      • acflory
        August 31, 2015

        The terminology scares me but… does hip flexion contractures mean something like tucking your tail in? Ballet teacher used to make us do that all the time when I was a kid.

        Like

      • docatheist
        August 31, 2015

        In a manner of speaking, yes. One cannot “tuck the tail in”, if the front of the hip joint can’t stretch out to a straight position. The trick of bending the knees just a little bit relaxes the culprit-muscles from their far end, allowing that tuck, and proving the contracture, if you can’t achieve the same with knees straight.

        Incidently, there’s a trick, here: When you fire the muscles that “tuck the tail in”, you increase the effect of the stretch. Those muscles you’ve fired are connected by a reflex of sorts to the ones that are tight. They work opposite each other, so it makes sense: You’ll probably want one to relax when the other tightens, to move, and if you don’t, you can easily override the reflex. Put that reflex to work, though, and the tight muscle is willing to let go it’s tightness more readily.

        Like

      • docatheist
        August 31, 2015

        Please ignore that apostrophe on the final “it’s.” Shame on me for such a slip!

        Like

      • acflory
        August 31, 2015

        This is fascinating. I always thought my obsession with posture was just a stupid hangover from childhood, but maybe it’s actually good for me. I’m going to look up that book you mentioned as simple ‘posture’ won’t stop me from creaking forever. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • docatheist
        September 1, 2015

        Your good posture might be protecting you from spinal arthritis, pinched nerves, sciatica, and more.
        I wish I could say I take good care of myself, stretching and using the best possible posture, but it stays on my list of things to do. Still, I fare quite a bit better for knowing and doing some than for never even thinking about it.

        Like

      • acflory
        September 1, 2015

        You could be right about the arthritis etc. At 62 I can still do hard physical work in the garden without collapsing in a heap. Nevertheless, I think I probably need more so I’ve ordered Stretching. Can’t guarantee I’ll use it all the time but I will do some. Hopefully I’ll still be shifting rocks at 72! lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • docatheist
        September 1, 2015

        Excellent!

        Like

  8. Charmaine Martin
    August 31, 2015

    I’m a big fan of Miranda Esmonde White’s “Classical Stretch” – a combo of ballet, yoga, tai chi with a bit of pilates thrown in. Very gentle stretching exercises, very effective. Good music 1/2 hour a day. You can Google it – (I don’t own stock, nor am I a paid endorser. Just like the program)

    Like

    • docatheist
      August 31, 2015

      Ah, now I understand why E wanted to know how long he must do the stretches! “Stretching” explains key physiology behind stretching — in a way anyone can understand — and then allows the reader to pick and choose what muscles/muscle groups to target individually. The book also provides five minute routines covering a series of exercises geared to a particular activity, for example bike riding, long walks, running, sitting for hours at a desk, etc.

      BTW, I have no financial interest in the book. I can’t imagine the author or his wife ever even heard of me. It was something useful I picked up in my training, decades ago, and found applicable to quite a few patients, over any medication, surgery, or even physical therapy.

      The activities you offer sound fun, too. One could always mix and match, just to add variety.

      Like

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This entry was posted on August 30, 2015 by in life, relationships and tagged , , , , , , .